Saturday, January 19, 2013

Catching up on Small Stones

Wow, I'm such a neglectful mother!
This blog is my baby, and a newborn, at that,
and yet, I've let real life (translation: my job) take me away from it.

Schedule has been unbelievably hectic lately.
I've even skipped days for my mindful writing challenge,
which makes me feel guilty and somehow 'not good enough.'

I sit here and berate myself for letting work take over my life,
and yet, right now, I can't get away from it.
Hopefully, after this week, things will calm down a bit.
It does spring eternal, after all.

So, my last post was for days 13 & 14.
The 15th was a 'lost' day - no small stone.
It's not that I didn't have 3 minutes to stop and pay attention.
I had the 3 minutes,
but I couldn't pay attention.
My mind was all over the place
and it just would NOT settle.

So, the 15th was lost.
But here is my small stone for the 16th:

Water has receded slightly;
The freeze has arrived
and cornfields have morphed 
into ice skating rinks. 

It's a very small stone, indeed.
But, it was something that really captured my attention and wouldn't let go,
so, I had to throw it into the stream, so to speak.

The stone from the 17th is, right now, one of my favorites:

The twinkle in your eyes
sets my heart aflame.
Your smile
lights the corners of my soul. 
Those little moments
aren't so little - 
They are everything.

Yes, they are. And it's nice to be reminded of that.

The 18th, unfortunately, was another lost day.
Work stole another one from me.
Spent all day at the accountant's office,
cleaning up the books.
Came home and hurriedly made supper.
Fell asleep after supper for a short nap
that morphed into six hours of dead sleep.

So, here I am, doing laundry at 5 in the morning,
after playing around on Facebook for the last 4 hours.
But, laundry presented me with my small stone for today:

Washer is grinding away - 
sighing loudly...
I think it's terminal.

Yep, I think my washer is dying a slow and painful death.
And I sit here feeling bad.
It's been a good washer -
a rebuilt off-the-scrap-heap Maytag,
that gave me almost 6 years of faultless service.
I will mourn it's passing.
I'm sure I will mourn how much a replacement will cost me, too!

So, yeah...
this week has been challenging.
I find that I don't have enough time to concentrate on the things I want to do.
And next week promises more of the same.
Which has set me to thinking about what I can do to change that.

I'm sure that will be percolating in my heart, soul, and mind for the next few weeks.
Or month(s).
Won't be years, though - something will click into place.
I'll make sure of it.

Until then, I'm hoping for no more lost days.
I've been enjoying this mindful writing exercise too much.
And while my stones may not be colorful or elaborate,
they've got me writing again.
That is a huge victory.
I have rediscovered something I thought I'd lost.
My voice.

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